In which I confess that I’ve failed my lenten fast…

Yes, I got up early for a while, but then I failed because of many reasons (I can come up with excuses pretty easily I’ve found). But dreading writing (rather, procrastinating it) because of my failure, needs to stop. NOW. Therefore, I write. First, my mom finished cancer treatment since the battle began back in…

the deepest cry.

The snow spits wild outside. I eat chili reheated on our stove. And, I appreciate the fact that tonight, I’m going home. home. I was asked today by a friend if it was weird that my parents and sister moved while I was away at school. And as I’ve told others, it is weird but…

lovely

I had a wonderful Valentines Day.  I got a call from my Mom wishing me a Happy Valentines Day (so sweet). I got to work and found, on my desk, a wonderful handmade Valentines Day card from Dearest. (smiles.smiles.smiles!) We got to hang out later that evening after he got done with practice, and I…

hunting for perfection

I’ve known since my childhood that I’m a “perfectionist.” Yeah, I’ve been one of those determined individuals who drives themselves into the ground looking for the BEST, most perfect thing. I produced  art (not really “creating” it), for the sake of becoming a perfect artist. I’ve pressed forward when I really should have let go…

things I love

I love: (in no particular order, and with VARYING degrees of affection) bike-rides to the beach (from less than a mile) to see the sunset with people that are near and dear. feeling the sun glint over my eye lids while cool air rushes in through the open car window. food that is prettily arranged,…

{the Fourth Month tomorrow}

Tomorrow Dan and I will have been dating for four months. Lots of life has happened during that time. During the last month we’ve returned to school and our responsibilities here. We’ve taken walks, experienced deep complete forgiveness, talked life, eaten Dim Sum, taken pictures in a giant reflective bean, and wandered in a Chicago…

the desperation prayers

I hate this feeling of not knowing where to even begin. Deep sighs echo out and my roommates ask what’s wrong…. This job searching stuff. My heart easily becomes frustrated with my lack of progress. My lack of pecking at sites of places that randomly come to mind with a list of skills in my…

thankful for words written and spoken

Tonight I flipped through my Ireland journal The leather straps tied in a bow on the back untied and laid open. I remember writing those first pages and the unknowing I felt for the adventure ahead. the adventure. The plan I never could have understood from that place. That place where I knew I needed…

Only a few days left, circling around, and picking up stones

[The adventure days have fallen. I’m not going to stress myself to keep them up. I’m just taking in each day as it comes. 🙂 Plus, boring the reader with random details is tedious.] My brain walks around and around in different thoughts for the future and plans and dreams. But in it all, I…

2012: To Stand in Awe

What do you do when you don’t feel like trusting? …When you do not feel like there is a song to sing in the dark? ….When your heart longs for beauty but all you see is explosions, falling apart, fears for the future, hard, numb emotions? …What do you do when this new year isn’t…

Adventure Day 15: (after day 14 got forgotten)

Today was a rollercoaster! Quite the adventure in trust… Whoo! (picture me screaming down a hill on a real rollar-coaster…yeah. you’ve got it. I’m the one with my hands firmly gripping the handlebar) Oh wow. Where to even begin? Perhaps bullet points? Doctors who talk fast in the early morning hours confuse me. Had a…